I was ordained by Rev Richard Billings of Unity Church, Oak Park, IL. He started a ministerial program in Oak Park, and he was my mentor. At that same time, I completed my Masters in Pastoral Studies at Loyola University, Chicago.
After serving on the board of directors for Unity Church for seven years I realized I did not want a church ministry. Rev. Billings encouraged me to take my ministry out of a church setting. As an ordained minister with a Masters in Pastoral Studies, I applied and was hired as a hospice chaplain.
I was a hospice chaplain for over ten years. During that time, I was privileged to companion patients and families. I was often asked whether it was painful to work with people in this moment of life. The answer is, sometimes, but mostly not. For so many patients and family this is when the heart is most open, supple, and malleable.
When I ponder my years in hospice so many stories flood my mind about working with people who are dying. I officiated many funerals and memorials. It was then that I got to know a fuller and more rounded view of people and their families.
I help families create a personal service that provides comfort and peace whatever the budget might be. I have officiated memorial services in the home, a favorite restaurant, and once in a country meadow where everyone brought their own lawn chair. Since I have been officiating for many years I provide experience, together with ideas to help families navigate this difficult time.
One family did not have the funds to have a funeral so I suggested we hold it in their home. The patient had been cremated so we had his ashes in an urn. We closed all the drapes, lit candles, sat in a circle in the living room with pictures of the family all around us. We prayed, remembered, shared stories and celebrated his life…with some of the best homemade food I’d ever had at a memorial. What a rich memory for me.
-CB wrote, ‘thank you so much for everything you have done for all of us during this difficult journey. No matter how well we thought we were prepared, we needed your guidance, calm, thoughtfulness, and of course…humor!’
I help couples create their dream ceremony. Whether it is a traditional or non-traditional service. Together we customize their ceremony to include religious beliefs, spiritual traditions, and values. I have married couples in banquet halls, restaurants, private homes, and even in a shelter in a park. In each of these cases, a personalized service was designed to satisfy the couple’s dreams and needs.
Recommitment ceremonies are an opportunity for a couple to commemorate their love and friendship that has deepened and matured. It is a personalized and intimate affair to be celebrated with close friends and family.
-MT wrote, ‘Diana, my favorite chaplain! I am so very grateful that YOU are officiating our little marriage ceremony. Means a lot! Thank you my Friend.’
-RA wrote, …’you did a great service for us. As you have so often in so many ways. Most of all thank you for being a wise woman, and loving friend.’
-AS wrote…’thank you for being our officiant and making our day so meaningful.
I have created healing circles for individuals experiencing major illness, grief, or loss, as well as end of life celebrations as a way to be with their loved ones while they are still alive. Gathering family and friends during a very challenging time is a meaningful way to express support and love. It is a blessing for everyone involved.
- EW wrote, ‘words cannot express how appreciative I am for you organizing and hosting the Healing Ritual. It meant a lot to me, and I felt so loved and cared for. It’s also fun to go back and look at the notebook.’
“In the dark days before my cancer surgery, Diana Coates’s healing circle brought me the light of hope, energy, supportive friends, and health-giving techniques that helped heal mind and body. I owe her more than I can say in getting me through a very tough period in my life.” - RA
My approach is to see the unborn wholeness in others so we can collaborate with it and strengthen it. I am in service with another as an equal. I bring all of my life experiences to the session the good, the bad and the ugly. My wounds and limitations become the source of my compassion and help me to understand the wounds of others. Thus the mysterious process of healing can begin.
At the core of my work is deep respectful heart-based listening based on loving acceptance. Miriam-Rose Ungunmerr-Baumann, an Australian Aboriginal refers to this process as Dadirri, “We all have a deep spring within us for you and me. We call on it and it calls on us. Listening deeply is to connect.”
In this time of the pandemic I am working via Zoom, phone, facetime and also walking together. Walking outside is so healing in itself; coupled with deep listening is powerful.
KM - “I feel like we are working together. Diana guides me towards finding my own answers which I never found with other therapists. I am an active participant in my own healing and growth. For the first time in my life I feel more right with who I am,”
Diana Coates
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